Today's sermon included a short story about running a half marathon. The pastor said he, not being a "runner" hit the wall at mile 10 and how everything was hard and how he was mad at his friend and how everything in his life seemed bad--his freckles and that kid that hurt him in 7th grade, etc. And then his friend (the "runner" who had already finished the race) came back to run the last portion with him and kept telling him he could do it.
Well, his story sounded so familiar to me. No, I don't run. In fact I really can't--not more than a few steps when I think one of my kids is in danger or something. But I honestly know that feeling of hitting a wall where I just "can't" keep going. Yep, it comes as I try to get thru the day and suddenly everything in my life seems bad and can't perceive I can make it. So, I'm trying to figure out how to look at each day as a marathon and push thru the wall--but not overexert myself. The one comfort God gave me is that his mercies are new every morning. I think I'll make a New Year's resolution this year--to look only to the day ahead. I can't handle more than that. When we were missionaries, it seemed easier somehow to look at the big things and have faith for them (not that it wasn't a challenge!) But now it's like my miracles are getting the house clean and watching all the different people that pull together to help me get through the basics of caring for my house. We are making it and that seems like a miracle in itself.
I hope that these little miracles and chances to have faith are just a training for the future God has for me. After all he says those who are faithful with little will be given much.